Well the answer to it, I don't want to justify myself, but yeah; this long so called break from my blog, was because August started off with my college kick starting. New year, different classroom, but the old classmates. It was not just about these sweet changes. Tests, exams, higher aims, priorities kept me busy all through these past three to four months. Out of all, hardest was the month of September. It took me a lot of time to actually get in sink with all what happened.



September has been no less than a nightmare to me. The past few weeks have been hard, harder than I could ever think of. There are times when you all of a sudden outgrow on the number of problems that you face and the number of things which keep your head questioning and the number of faces, which piss you off, even the thought of them. You overcome one hurdle and the next is there staring right at you. I am a typo, I have to insure justice in every situation. But people have egos, huge ego tags they are cowed of losing. I am not gonna blame people for now, because it gets me nowhere. All I know is I am depressed to a limit, I don't wanna talk, I don't wanna listen, I don't wanna fake a smile or even face people with a glance. I don't know how to handle all these fast crossing happenings where I find myself all alone. It's not that I don't have people to count on to. I have gone through so much stuff, that I have lost trust. I can't even trust the closest of friends. Because all what I am knee deep into has eventually fallen out of the people I honestly believed in. And now I am at a stage where nothing convinces me because I can't gather up much to toil with all that, all over again.

I am writing this, I don't feel there is anyway else I can pull this out of me. And no, no sort of negativity has set in, just tired of the people talking, just wary of the domino situations.. just ignorant of the faithful people still left and a bit more in love with the things that never mattered to me. To the things that you never gave a thought to, bother you less, hurt you never.

Past months as I said, have left a lone wanderer inside myself and I am struggling to get over those moments, though I have recovered from most of it. Stray ends from the past events do haunt me at times.